


There's No Going Back

by fireynovacat



Series: Stars above, earth below [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Identity Issues, Name Changes, On the Run, Queer Character, Rainbow Plane Universe Fic, References to Depression, an explanation on their name, issues in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:48:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireynovacat/pseuds/fireynovacat
Summary: They weren't always Cosmic. Not always a survivor with sharpshooting and other uncanny abilities....But then again, there's no going back from here.
Series: Stars above, earth below [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1463053
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	There's No Going Back

Cosmic becomes _Cosmic_ sometime when they're wandering the outskirts of the Mojave Desert, far enough in there's nobody around, but not too far in to get lost in a hot, barren landscape. There's nobody around and there hasn't for _days_ so they don't know why _**Michaela**_ became _**Cosmic**_. It wasn't like they disliked their name! ~~But they hadn't used or heard it in so long. Lex, Vera, Cory, on and on but always just once.~~

 _Cosmic_ had been a fleeting thought while watching the stars a restless night about two weeks ago. Hanging in the back of their mind, threading into their thoughts whenever they rest. It feels odd, almost familiar. But why do they want? It makes no sense.

In fact, they tell themself, staring at the fire, shivering a bit, not because it's cold (they're rarely cold) but because of how empty it is, Cosmic is a dumb name. It's noticeable, sticks out like a sore thumb. ~~They hadn't even dared to use anything like Michaela. Because they're already trackable enough as it is.~~ But it feels _right._ In the same way that going south out of that town two months ago had and avoiding the trap set by the Probably Evil Scientists or Something.

But, in sincerity, it almost hurt to be called Michaela. Because that was when their biggest worries was school, chores, and planning a good future. Not day-to-day survival. ~~Michaela was a heavy sleeper. Now they sleep lightly.~~

When they wake the next morning the heavy realization settles in them. There's no going back. They'll never stop being chased. Hunted. And they can't sentence their old friends and family to that. This was their life and future. On the road with their bow and weird abilities. 

There was no college and apartment. This is what there was. So why not start it fresh? They couldn't afford to hold on to the what-ifs and past. 

Cosmic pulls their pack on, tugging their compass and map out of a jacket pocket. They could continue skirting the edge and head into Arizona. Maybe if they were lucky there was a bus along the way.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically Cosmic decides to totally start fresh, and about 7 months into their wandering/running deicide to call themself Cosmic. A notable name for sure, but it sounds right to them.
> 
> Michaela is not a deadname, and they still like it. They've just convinced themself that being Michaela was dangerous, since they associate that name with before all this, and this an easier life.


End file.
